Tuesday, June 4, 2013

My Quest for Hypoglycemia

Somewhere in my sick little brainpan, a twisted idea as taken hold.

I want low blood sugar.

Not lower.


I want to feel dizzy and pass out. It's like that will somehow convince the doctors that I'm not actually diabetic; that it was some wacky mistake. Everyone shake your head bemused while the laugh track plays. Fade out to commercial.

It's to this end that I eat fewer carbs than my dietician recommends. This is why I allow myself cheat days; to give me the willpower to deprive myself throughout the rest of the week.

And it's not like I'm not eating. I'm just not eating enough.

Even still, I can't get my blood sugar below 70. The closest I've gotten is 73, and even then I felt like I was going to pass out. Hell, I feel like that in the 80's. 

I think I've discovered a new meal to feed that twisted desire, though. Something that gets me into the 80's after just a couple hours of having eaten.

Miso soup. So simple. Why didn't I think of it earlier? Even with a handful of broccoli and tofu added, three cups of it comes in under 20 grams of carbs. And I dare you to eat more than that. I'm an eater, and I can't.

Miso Soup 1 Serving
2 cups water
1 handful broccoli (or other hardy vegetable)
Three green onions, chopped
2 tbls miso paste
2 oz extra firm tofu

Boil the water with broccoli for 5 minutes. Take away from heat and stir in the miso until dissolved. Add the rest of the ingredients. Put back on heat and boil fr an additional minute. Garnish with nori, if desired.

So, that's my new plan. Eat miso until I pass out and convince the doctors that they pinned diabetes on the wrong fat girl.

It's a winner, fersher.