Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Summer For Fatties, Part Two

So, there's some things I probably left out about how to get through the summer months.

First off, thanks to XOVain, I just learned about Lady Anti Monkey Butt Anti Friction Powder. I'm getting some posthaste! One, I want to be part of any product that uses the term Monkey Butt in it's name. Two, it's cheap, y'all! $5.99!

Next, I'm a greasy mess in the summer. I hate wearing a face of foundation because it just melts off. With the melting comes all the other makeup on my face, and my eyeliner ends up on my cheeks.  I tell you, that look is disconcerting. 

One thing that helps is some HD powder.  I know there's tons of expensive ones, but ELF (that's Eyes Lips Face) makes an el cheapo one that is comparable with any of the pricey ones, and here's why - it's just silica powder!  Like the stuff they put in beef jerky to help reduce moisture or in diapers to keep them from leaking.  I've used it as setting powder for my eye makeup, too.  Just an FYI, it takes the glitter from glittery makeup until it absorbs some oil.

Lastly, thicken yo' skin.  There will be plenty of people on whale patrol at the beach, elephant patrol on the land, and will scream at you to throw more clothes on yourself.  While it might be tempting to hide inside or only among friendly souls, you'll be missing out on fun.  Yeah, going outside is going to be hot and sweaty and make you reveal more flesh than you're probably comfortable with.  Yeah, immature assholes will probably make comments to try to fat-shame you into hating yourself.  But, you know.  Whatevs.  Life is for living.

Also - and this isn't just for my thick sistahs - DON'T FORGET THE SUNSCREEN.